‘All because of God’s extraordinary power’

Andy Hall, Prayer Coordinator at the British and Foreign Bible Society, with his wife, Carol. He suffered from severe epilepsy, and the resulting negative emotions led him to self-harm. He was greatly helped by Scriptural ‘prescriptions’. Swindon, England. Photo: British & Foreign Bible Society (ENG03DJ-4.JPG)

SWINDON, England — As a youngster Andy Hall, now the British and Foreign Bible Society’s Prayer Coordinator, suffered massive epileptic fits and became so depressed that he began to harm himself. Here, he talks about how the Scriptures transformed his life.

I was extremely ill with epilepsy in my late teens and early twenties, spending three years in hospital. I would have a lot of fits, sometimes up to 40 a day. This brought on emotional and psychiatric problems and I became very depressed.

During one fit I fell through a window and after that I used to deliberately aim at windows and cut myself. The deeper I cut myself, the more I bled and the more relief I would feel.

I was sectioned – detained compulsorily in a psychiatric unit for 28 days. I got out but spent three years in hospital, mainly in neurological wards to treat the epilepsy. In 1972, my parents were told that I would be in hospital for the rest of my life, which would be very short anyway. I wouldn’t ever be able to drive a car, get married, have children or take out life insurance.

One day, feeling particularly low, I smashed a glass in the bathroom and used it to slit my wrists. I went and sat in the chapel, thinking it would be hours before anyone looked for me, and by that time I would hopefully be dead.

In 1975, still in hospital, I felt I just didn’t want to continue living. For a week I went to sit in the chapel, not because of any religious beliefs, but because it was quiet and cool and no-one bothered me as it was only used on Sundays. One day, feeling particularly low, I smashed a glass in the bathroom and used it to slit my wrists. I went and sat in the chapel, thinking it would be hours before anyone looked for me, and by that time I would hopefully be dead.

Within about five minutes a nurse came down from my ward. She said, “Andy, I sense you’re feeling a bit down today. I just wanted to say how much God loves you and that Jesus died for you.”

Seeping through

I thought, “Oh no, a religious nut.” My arms were concealed under my dressing gown but the blood started seeping through, so she rushed off to get help. The doctor who dealt with my injuries said to me, “I cannot condone what you have done, but I want to tell you that God loves you and Jesus died for you.”

The medical student who stitched me up revealed he was an active member of the hospital Christian Union and I thought this was beyond the realms of coincidence. I said a very arrogant prayer: “OK God, if you’re there, I will go to church for six months. Prove yourself to me.”

I felt loved

So I went to church, where I met young people who loved God and, for almost the first time in my life, I felt loved. My parents had always loved me, but I was bereft of friends in my school years and the epilepsy had made that worse. People treat epileptics like lepers and I’ve experienced the situation, as in the story of the Good Samaritan, where I have been having a fit on one side of the road and people have crossed to the other to avoid me – and left me to smash my skull on the pavement. So I got very, very lonely.

But these young people at church accepted me and all my many hang-ups, and they loved me. I saw the love of Jesus through these people.

People treat epileptics like lepers and I’ve experienced the situation, as in the story of the Good Samaritan, where I have been having a fit on one side of the road and people have crossed to the other to avoid me — and left me to smash my skull on the pavement .

Six months later I clearly heard God say, “Get off the fence and decide which side you want to come down on.” I said, “OK God, I give my life to you, for what it’s worth.” My problems with epilepsy continued and during one meeting I had a particularly violent fit. The leader, quietly but with total authority, said, “In the name of Jesus come out.” People can put whatever interpretation they wish on that but I know what happened, and I haven’t had a fit since.

The self-harming wasn’t healed as dramatically. That continued for months, and a very wise counsellor used to give me scriptural prescriptions – just a verse or two of Scripture – for me to memorise and use like I would a medical prescription, three times a day.

There were a number of them – for example, “My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit”. It’s very difficult to harm yourself when you realise the truth of that. As I spoke these Scriptures out and applied them to my life they brought about a change in my thinking. This went on for months. Even now, 27 years later, when I feel particularly low, I recall those Scriptures and use them again. God is still very real in those verses and Romans 8:37–39 is one I use often.

Temptations

The Scriptures really have changed my life. They were the weapon that Jesus himself used to overcome the temptations. They are powerful and they are authority. Now, all the things people said of me in the 70s have been totally overturned. I have been very happily married for 23 years, I have two lovely kids and I drive. I live an ordinary life. And it’s all because of God’s extraordinary power.

(WR 379/13 - 9.03)